4th of July

Ok, we have a lot of things to post in the next few days.....which means I'll post this and then get too lazy to post anything else for a few months. Linz is much better at updating this thing than I am. Anyway, I'll give you a quick recap of our 4th of July here in Vienna.....

First of all, it is a BIG deal to get invited to the Embassy 4th of July party. You would think that everyone who works at the U.S. Embassy would automatically get an invite to the 4th of July party....since it is, you know, kind of the most important holiday for the U.S. But, that's not how it works overseas. No, overseas, U.S. Embassies throw 4th of July parties for everyone else. We invite members of other embassies, local contacts, etc. Basically everyone but Americans. Makes complete sense, right? Anyway, like I was saying, it's a big deal to get invited to this thing. So imagine my surprise when I see that Linz and I received an invitation! Well, let me correct that....imagine my surprise when I see that Linz received an invitation, and I'm invited as her guest. That's right, I, the Embassy employee out here, was invited to the 4th of July party as a guest of my wife, the dependent spouse. Friggin Embassy. But whatever, at least we were invited (we meaning my wife).

This year's 4th of July party was a jazz theme....yup, jazz. Cause when I think America, jazz is the first thing I think about. AWESOME theme. When guests arrive, the gentlemen receive fedora hats similar to those in Blues Brothers and the ladies receive jazz boa headbands. I think next year's theme should be Gangsta' Rap, and we'll pass out bullet-proof vests and fake gold teeth. At least that would be entertaining. Anyway, here is the only picture we have from the evening. This was taken after the party, and I had already undressed...so that's why I'm not wearing a dress shirt (in case you're wondering....which you probably weren't).
Yeah, we look good...I know.

So, the party itself was pretty good. There was lots of good food, a jazz band, and we introduced our new Ambassador. Yup, 6 months until we vote-in a new President, and our Senate decides to confirm a new Ambassador to Vienna. It's basically a way to take a whole lot of taxpayer money, and flush it directly down the toilet. In case you don't know, when a new President is elected, appointed Ambassadors are required to offer their resignation. So this guy probably won't be here long (cause let's face it, Vienna is a cushy post, so the new President will probably want to reward one of his contributors with this position). And it's not like Vienna is hurting for an Ambassador. We have three missions out here....and each mission has it's own Ambassador. That's right, Vienna has three Ambassadors. So before this guy came out, we still had two. We just REALLY needed to fill in that last one.....cause.....well.....heck, I can't even think of something funny enough to end that sentence. It's just too ridiculous. God bless America and our idiotic politics.

Well, this post is already too long, so I'll close it out with the most exciting story from the party. It's pretty common knowledge that of the Hamilton kids, Jennifer is the most likely to meet celebrities, Nicole is the most likely to birth an entire soccer team, and I'm the most likely to meet political figures. Not saying this truly excites me (especially since I hate politics), it just comes with the job. Over the past few years, I've met several Ambassadors (both U.S. and foreign), members of Congress, Secretary of State Condi Rice, President Bush, former President George Bush Sr, and others. Anyway, one of the guests of honor at the 4th of July party was Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She was in town for a conference and was invited to the party. Well, I couldn't leave the party without shaking her hand. Not that I agree with her political/personal views (after all, she was a volunteer lawyer for the ACLU....an organization that I'm convinced was started by Satan himself) but she is still a judge for the most powerful court in America (and therefore the world). So I walk up to her, shake her hand, and sputter off some incoherent garbage about what an honor it is to meet her. I actually can't remember what I said, but it must have been good because she smiles and says (no joke), "Thank you, you are quite a handsome young man." Now, if you've ever seen a picture of this lady (and if you haven't...just check out Wikipedia), she's about 4 feet tall and weighs around 10 pounds. Her hair is pulled back so tight that her eyes bulge out, and she wears glasses that take up half her face. This is the very definition of sexy. So at this point, I ripped off my fedora, took her in my arms, and gave her a deep, long, passionate kiss. True story!


Ok, I MAY have exaggerated the whole making out thing. I just got her digits....we're going out next week.